Mana Mak?

Got tagged in this very touching story by one of my long lost childhood friend hehehhe.. Thank god for FB. The title was very down to earth and holds very dearly to my heart and existence. Mana Mak. I technically cried every time I read it. Just spare a few minutes and understand the core message of this truly beautiful story. Enjoy...

Jam 6.30 petang.
Mak  berdiri di depan pintu. Wajah Mak kelihatan resah. Mak tunggu adik bongsu balik dari sekolah agama.
Ayah baru balik dari sawah.
Ayah tanya Mak, “Along mana?’
Mak jawab, “ Ada  di dapur tolong siapkan makan.”
Ayah tanya Mak lagi,” Angah mana?”
Mak jawab, “Angah mandi, baru balik main bola.”
Ayah tanya Mak, “Ateh mana?”
Mak jawab, “Ateh, Kak Cik tengok tv dengan Alang di dalam?”
Ayah tanya lagi, “Adik dah balik?”
Mak jawab, “Belum. Patutnya dah balik. Basikal adik rosak kot. Kejap lagi kalau tak balik juga jom kita pergi cari Adik.”
Mak jawab soalan ayah penuh yakin. Tiap-tiap hari ayah tanya soalan yang sama. Mak jawab penuh perhatian. Mak ambil berat di mana anak-anak Mak dan bagaimana keadaan anak-anak Mak setiap masa dan setiap ketika.
Dua puluh tahun kemudian,
 
Jam 6.30 petang
 
Ayah balik ke rumah. Baju ayah  basah. Hujan turun sejak tengahari.
 
Ayah tanya Along, “Mana Mak?”
 
Along sedang membelek-belek baju barunya.  Along jawab, “Tak tahu.”
 
Ayah tanya Angah, “Mana Mak?”
 
Angah  menonton tv.  Angah jawab, “Mana Angah tahu.”
Ayah tanya Ateh, “Mana Mak?”
 
Ayah menunggu lama jawapan dari Ateh  yang  asyik membaca majalah.
 
 
Ayah tanya Ateh lagi, "Mana Mak?"
 
Ateh  menjawab, “Entah.”
 
 
Ateh terus membaca majalah tanpa menoleh kepada Ayah.
 
Ayah tanya Alang, “Mana Mak?”
Alang tidak jawab. Alang hanya mengoncang bahu tanda tidak tahu.
 
Ayah tidak mahu tanya Kak Cik dan Adik yang sedang melayan facebook. Ayah tahu yang Ayah tidak akan dapat jawapan yang ayah  mahu.
 
 
Tidak ada siapa tahu di mana Mak. Tidak ada siapa merasa ingin tahu di mana Mak. Mata dan hati anak-anak Mak tidak pada Mak. Hanya mata dan hati Ayah yang mencari-cari di mana Mak.
 
Tidak ada anak-anak Mak yang tahu setiap kali ayah  bertanya, "Mana Mak?"
 
Tiba-tiba adik bungsu bersuara, “Mak ni dah senja-senja pun merayap lagi. Tak reti nak balik!!”
Tersentap hati Ayah mendengar  kata-kata Adik.
 
Dulu anak-anak Mak akan berlari mendakap Mak apabila balik dari sekolah. Mereka akan tanya "Mana Mak?" apabila Mak tidak menunggu mereka di depan pintu.
 
Mereka akan tanya, "Mana Mak." Apabila dapat nomor 1 atau kaki melecet main bola di padang  sekolah.  Mak  resah apabila anak-anak Mak lambat balik. Mak  mahu tahu di mana semua anak-anaknya berada setiap waktu dan setiap ketika.
 
Sekarang anak-anak sudah besar. Sudah lama anak-anak Mak tidak bertanya 'Mana Mak?"
 
 
Semakin anak-anak  Mak besar, soalan "Mana Mak?" semakin hilang dari bibir anak-anak Mak .
Ayah berdiri di depan pintu menunggu Mak. Ayah resah menunggu Mak kerana sudah senja sebegini Mak masih belum balik. Ayah risau kerana sejak akhir-akhir ini Mak selalu mengadu sakit lutut.
 
Dari jauh kelihatan sosok Mak berjalan  memakai payung yang sudah uzur. Besi-besi payung tercacak keluar dari kainnya. Hujan masih belum berhenti. Mak menjinjit dua bungkusan plastik. Sudah kebiasaan  bagi Mak, Mak akan bawa sesuatu untuk anak-anak Mak apabila pulang dari berjalan. 
 
Sampai di halaman rumah Mak berhenti di depan deretan kereta anak-anak Mak. Mak buangkan daun-daun yang mengotori kereta anak-anak Mak. Mak usap bahagian depan kereta Ateh perlahan-lahan. Mak rasakan seperti mengusap kepala Ateh waktu Ateh kecil. Mak senyum. Kedua bibir Mak diketap repat. Senyum tertahan, hanya Ayah yang faham. Sekarang Mak tidak dapat lagi merasa mengusap kepala anak-anak seperti masa anak-anak Mak kecil dulu. Mereka sudah besar. Mak takut anak Mak akan menepis tangan Mak kalau Mak  lakukannya.
 
 
Lima buah kereta milik anak-anak Mak berdiri megah. Kereta Ateh paling gah. Mak tidak tahu pun apa kehebatan kereta Ateh itu. Mak cuma suka warnanya. Kereta warna merah bata, warna kesukaan Mak. Mak belum merasa naik kereta anak Mak yang ini.
Baju mak basah kena hujan. Ayah tutupkan payung mak. Mak bagi salam. Salam Mak tidak berjawab. Terketar-ketar lutut Mak melangkah anak tangga. Ayah pimpin Mak masuk ke rumah. Lutut Mak sakit lagi.
 
Mak letakkan  bungkusan di atas meja. Sebungkus rebung dan sebungkus  kueh koci pemberian Mak Uda untuk anak-anak Mak. Mak Uda tahu anak-anak Mak suka makan kueh koci dan Mak malu untuk meminta untuk bawa balik. Namun raut wajah Mak sudah cukup membuat Mak Uda  faham.
 
Semasa menerima bungkusan kueh koci dari Mak Uda tadi, Mak  sempat berkata kepada Mak Uda, "Wah berebutlah budak-budak tu nanti nampak kueh koci kamu ni."  
 
Sekurang-kurangnya itulah bayangan Mak. Mak bayangkan anak-anak Mak sedang gembira menikmati kueh koci sebagimana masa anak-anak Mak kecil dulu. Mereka berebut dan Mak jadi hakim pembuat keputusan muktamat. Sering kali Mak akan beri bahagian Mak supaya anak-anak Mak puas makan. Bayangan itu sering singgah di kepala Mak.
 
Ayah suruh Mak tukar baju yang basah itu. Mak akur.
 
Selepas Mak tukar baju, Ayah iring Mak ke dapur.  Mak ajak anak-anak Mak makan kueh koci. Tidak seorang pun yang menoleh kepada Mak. Mata dan hati anak-anak Mak sudah bukan pada Mak lagi.
 
Mak hanya tunduk, akur dengan keadaan.
 
Ayah tahu Mak sudah tidak boleh mengharapkan anak-anak melompat-lompat gembira  dan  berlari mendakapnya seperti dulu.
 
Ayah temankan Mak makan. Mak menyuap nasi perlahan-lahan, masih mengharapkan anak-anak Mak akan makan bersama. Setiap hari Mak berharap begitu. Hanya Ayah yang duduk bersama Mak di meja makan  setiap malam.
 
Ayah tahu Mak penat sebab berjalan jauh. Siang tadi Mak pergi ke rumah Mak Uda di kampung seberang untuk mencari rebung. Mak hendak  masak rebung masak lemak cili api dengan ikan masin kesukaan anak-anak Mak.
Ayah tanya Mak kenapa Mak tidak telepon suruh anak-anak jemput. Mak jawab, "Saya dah suruh Uda telepon budak-budak ni tadi. Tapi Uda kata semua tak  berangkat."
 
Mak  minta Mak Uda telepon anak-anak yang Mak tidak boleh berjalan  balik sebab hujan. Lutut Mak akan sakit kalau sejuk. Ada sedikit harapan di hati Mak agar salah seorang anak Mak akan menjemput Mak dengan kereta.  Mak teringin kalau Ateh yang datang menjemput Mak dengan kereta barunya. Tidak ada siapa yang datang jemput Mak.
 
Mak tahu anak-anak mak tidak sedar telepon berbunyi. Mak  ingat kata-kata ayah , “Kita tak usah susahkan anak-anak. Selagi kita mampu kita buat saja sendiri apa-apa pun.  Mereka ada kehidupan masing-masing. Tak p ayah  sedih-sedih. Maafkan sajalah anak-anak kita. Tak apalah kalau tak merasa  menaiki kereta mereka sekarang. Nanti kalau kita mati kita masih ada peluang  merasa anak-anak   mengangkat kita kat bahu mereka.”
Mak faham buah hati Mak semua sudah besar. Along dan Angah sudah beristeri. Ateh, Alang, Kak Cik dan Adik masing-masing sudah punya buah hati sendiri yang sudah mengambil tempat Mak di hati anak-anak Mak.
 
Pada suapan terakhir, setitik air mata Mak jatuh ke pinggan.
 
Kueh koci masih belum diusik oleh anak-anak Mak.
 
Beberapa tahun kemudian
 
Mak Uda tanya  Along, Angah, Ateh, Alang, Kak Cik dan Adik, “Mana mak?”.
 
Hanya Adik yang jawab, “Mak dah tak ada.”
Along, Angah, Ateh, Alang, Kak Cik dan Adik tidak sempat melihat Mak waktu Mak sakit.
 
Kini Mak sudah berada di sisi Tuhannya bukan di sisi anak-anak Mak lagi.
 
Dalam isakan tangis, Along, Angah, Ateh, Alang, Kak Cik dan Adik menerpa kubur Mak.  Hanya batu nisan yang berdiri terpacak. Batu nisan Mak tidak boleh bersuara. Batu nisan tidak ada tangan macam tangan Mak yang selalu memeluk erat anak-anaknya apabila anak-anak datang menerpa  Mak semasa anak-anak Mak kecil dulu.
Mak pergi semasa Along, Angah, Ateh, Alang, Kak Cik dan Adik berada jauh di bandar. Kata Along, Angah, Ateh, Alang, Kak Cik dan Adik mereka tidak dengar handphone berbunyi semasa ayah  telepon untuk beritahu mak sakit tenat.
 
Mak faham, mata dan telinga anak-anak Mak adalah untuk orang lain bukan untuk Mak.
 
Hati anak-anak Mak bukan milik Mak lagi. Hanya hati Mak yang tidak pernah diberikan kepada sesiapa, hanya untuk anak-anak Mak..
 
Mak tidak sempat merasa diangkat di atas bahu anak-anak Mak. Hanya bahu ayah yang sempat mengangkat jenazah Mak dalam hujan renyai.
 
Ayah sedih sebab tiada lagi suara Mak yang akan menjawab soalan Ayah,
 
"Mana Along?" , "Mana Angah?", "Mana Ateh?", "Mana Alang?", "Mana Kak Cik?" atau "Mana Adik?".  Hanya Mak saja yang rajin menjawab soalan ayah  itu dan jawapan Mak memang tidak pernah silap. Mak sentiasa yakin dengan jawapannya sebab mak ambil tahu di mana anak-anaknya berada pada setiap waktu dan setiap ketika. Anak-anak Mak sentiasa di hati Mak tetapi hati anak-anak Mak ada orang lain yang mengisinya.
Ayah sedih. Di tepi kubur Mak, Ayah bermonolog sendiri, "Mulai hari ini  tidak perlu bertanya lagi kepada Along, Angah, Ateh, Alang, Kak Cik dan Adik , "Mana mak?" "
 
Kereta merah Ateh bergerak perlahan membawa Ayah pulang. Along, Angah, Alang dan Adik mengikut dari belakang. Hati ayah  hancur teringat hajat Mak untuk naik kereta merah Ateh tidak kesampaian. Ayah terbayang kata-kata Mak malam itu, "Cantiknya kereta Ateh, kan Bang? Besok-besok Ateh bawalah kita jalan-jalan kat Kuala  Lumpur tu. Saya akan buat kueh koci buat bekal."
 
"Ayah, ayah ....bangun." Suara Ateh memanggil ayah . Ayah pengsan sewaktu turun dari kereta Ateh..
 
Terketar-ketar ayah bersuara, "Mana Mak?"   
 
Ayah  tidak mampu berhenti menanya soalan itu. Sudah 10 tahun Mak pergi namun soalan "Mana Mak?"  masih sering keluar dari mulut Ayah sehingga ke akhir usia.
 
The end...

Just sit back, reflect and thank god if your mother is still alive. The least you could do is to go home and give your emak, a hug and say thank you... That's what I did.... Till the next post, adios.
 

Wow, a very long overdue post.

Salam to al fellow friends. It's been close to 2 years since my last entry and today i decided to write once more. May it be daily ramblings, experiences i gained, suka-duka kehidupan or etc, i'm gonna express it all in words. Its good for my vocab and english literature skills anyways so here it goes.

Yesterday was a bad day for me.

All the hopes. All the positiveness. All the will. All flushed down the drain. It's not my time. It's not my rezeki. The only issues i have is the fact that only one man could make my entire life miserable. I hope he's happy. I hope to greet him in the afterlife. Being somebody "here" does not make you god. I believe in karma. What goes around comes around. Today i need to rest and recompose my self. 

Family is all that matters now and yes, working here gives me plenty of time with them. Punch card machine, you can expect me 5.30pm everyday haha.. Until the next soonest post, adios!!

My Life

General guide for soon to be parents outhere!!!

Hi All,

Thank god and i express my highest keyukuran to Allah swt for showering us with two little angel; 'Aaliah Batrisyia and Muhammad Ammar into our life. They really changed our life for the better. It rather took me awhile to get an idea for writing this general guidance but i think its really necessary as many of soon to be parents are unaware and sometime very poor in making wise monetary decision when it comes to the preparations of greeting that special someone.

The incident that happened a few months back is the main reason for us to publish this simple guidance as we are extremely troubled with it as it took the joy and satisfaction of having your own baby. Just imagine having to take a loan just to pay the delivery fees? We were dumbfounded and to tell you the truth; quite mad with both parents - not doing proper homework and also the hospital - insanely delivery charges. Common friends, we should be jumping of joy like mad and NOT feeling depressed and down after getting the most profound news in our life! Anyways, let us stress dear readers that this is all are individual preference and directed to those who are desperately searching for "less expensive" alternative with the same amount of quality and care. To those who has lots of moolah to burn or Insane company benefits (I really envy some of my close friends on this hehehe_rezeki masing2 no heheh) feel free to deliver anywhere heheehehehe


1. Let's start with what our LEAN way for both 'Aaliah and Ammar cases.
During the early stages of pregnancy, we sat down (i and my lovely nad) and discussed whole heartedly (is there a word?? hehe) on how we going to approach this miracle. We brainstormed-asked around-read dozens of online forums- called our doctor friend to get as much as info we could lay our hands on before making the right choices! We would like to stress the importance of asking! Knowledge is the pinnacle of greatness and with knowledge, you can achieve alot in your life plus get an enormous discounts plus savings on hospital fees and medications hehehehe.

After awhile and having friends with troubled and complications during delivery; we strongly feel that government hospital aka general hospital are the safest backup any soon to be parents need to have! Just imagine, we heard countless of cases where they had to transfer patients to general hospital last minute when they realized that either the mum's life/child's life or both life's are in danger of fear having bad reputations? I really don't know the extent of this really and hope people put there with true life experienced enlighten us with this one. So to get a hold of this wonderful and usefull backup, you really need to check in one of the thousands Klinik Kesihatan Kerajaan or the general hospital nearest to you and obtain the RED CARD! - Lifeline hehehe.

Cost? Your Kad Nikah and a mere RM1. I was shocked first time hearing the nurse tell me and still am amaze with the amount up to now. The only catch is that there are hundreds who thinks as you and you really need to get there early to get the number. For me this is not a problem as the klinik kesihatan is a few km away from my house. Gotta sacrifice a few minutes of morning sleep but its totally worth it. You get the card and it opens your option to the few puluh general hospital located in Malaysia heheeheh. Be extra careful also as this first trimester is the most important phase on your babies growth. Heed all the warnings and recommendation given and always pray pray pray to Allah for the well being of both mum and your child.

2. Checkups + Iron / obumin suppliment. As for us, we followed the schedule stated on the Red Card to the day. Better pray in advanced also so that the attending nurse is not the "harimau betina" type hehehe. Follow all their advice such as filling up the growth chart, etc etc. We followed this routine for 7 months++ and in the mean time searched high and low for suitable specialist center to deliver our babies hehehe.

3. 2D/3D scan. Compare between clinics! The average price ranges between RM30 to RM45 for a normal 2D Scan and print as shown below:


and from RM60 (Yes you read it right heheheh) to RM400???? --- A true figure from Nad's office mate .. please guys, 3D don't need to be that EXPENSIVE heheh.. anyways, here's a snippet of our Ammar's full 3D scan which lasts about an hour (due to his stubbornness heheeh) and costs a mere RM60 with a CD given:

Our's Pick:
2D: Klinik Nik Suzet; Near Unisel Shah Alam
3D: Vision College; Kelana Jaya Parkview Tower

4. Hospital/Specialist Selection.
Guys, beware... This is one of the most important decision you have to ever make. Just imagine, I used to hear people talking about healing institutions ie hospital where making moolah/money is their main objective. It really stunned me when a few of my close friends revealed that instead of being able to deliver normally, they would often suggest C-sect plus a whole barrage of procedures just to squeeze every cent from you. The highest I've heard was a cool 16k!! Mind you that there a couple of reason why the price differs from each hospital. A few reason that i could think of now are:
1. Establishment's name - common; Gleneagles and GHKL? where do u think costs more? heheh
2. Service offered - There are places where you can witness and even photo/record your baby delivery (I like this!!) and there are places which forbid this.
3. Comfort level
4. Privacy option
5. etc etc ... readers can input more

Another important factor to consider is the attitude of the establishment towards breastfeeding policy! Do you know that THE MOST critical moments after delivery is that 1 hour time frame as your wife's body produces colostrum and another important key element which i happen to forget (will definitely update this asap) that is full of carbo-protein-antibodies but low in fat? My doc Siti told me that these precious milk/hour after delivery is the difference between your baby's health in the long run plus the success of breastfeeding normally but yet there are other private hospitals which defy this and not only separate your newborn with the mother for along time after birth but introduce formula milk hence defying your newborn with those precious nutrition and the chance of getting proper breast milk! Marahnye biler dengar nih!!! So parents to be - make sure that you discuss this thoroughly and ask the prospect hospital their policy on this before making that decision!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Colostrum

We did our extensive homework when it comes to selecting the birth place of our 'Aaliah & Ammar (Ammar's was easy heheh). We met friends, ask the price range and made a pro and cons list for each every one of the selection near to our house; Yep, as one wise men told me; location! location! location!. In our case there's a few choices which includes UH, SJMC, Selangor Medical Center, KJMC, GH, to name a few. Already went to most of the list above when luck and destiny played its part. So to cut the long story short, while we were at UH (University Hospital), we went to Menara Timur's cafeteria to have our breakfast when we were disturbed by somebody who turns out to be the PA for a very prominent Gynae in UH.

After a short discussion with her, she set an appointment with Prof Dr Siti and decided to deliver our 'Aaliah and then Ammar @ UMSC (Univeristy Malaya Specialist Centre). One of the reason we love Dr Siti so much is the fact that she really believes in normal delivery. Take my wife's experience as an example. It was a long 16 hours stretch of labor pain when Nad delivered our beautiful 'Aaliah. Dr Siti did not once offered my wife anything / procedures other than normal delivery as she trusted my wife will to deliver normal.

Syukur alhamdulillah when both of our 'Aaliah and Ammar was born, Dr Siti gave a quick rinse and gave them to my Nad for their much needed precious breast milk. For me this is extremely important as it quickly establish that mum-son/daughter bond which is for me "priceless".


Reason's for picking Universiti Malaya's UMSC (University Malaya Specialist Centre)
1. Great staff
2. Great privacy plus a very cool delivery room - I can move freely and take pictures when all the magic is happening.
3. Price - Extremely low compared to other specialist out there.. Seriously can cater the normal 2.5k and (c-sect) 4.5k range offered by company benefits heheh.
5. The comfort level - Extremely high on this.
6. Gives us that "peaceful" feeling knowing that there are plenty of on call specialist nearby and the fact they are merged with UMMC - university malaya medical center which also uses the REDCARD is also comforting hence they wont transfer people anytime soon heheheeh --- > penting oooo nih
7. Great gynae and pediatric doc!!! Thank you Dr Prof Siti & Dr Lim!!! We owe you both of our son and daughter heheheh... syukur alhamdulillah.

p/s: Will edit soon when I have the time... stay tuned

Future leader...

Sedapnye tido...

Dl heaven...

My lunch ...

Us

My reason living...

I love my family oh so much..

Best gler Ammar tido.